Why can't I do it?

I haven't updated since December.  So sorry.  We had our appointment with the allergist in January.  Jake had his patch test.  We tested rice, oats, bananas and quinoa.  Oats had a slight reaction, and we're talking very, very slight.  ZERO reaction from the others.

Dr. S said we have the green light to orally challenge Jake.  The green light has been on since the end of January.  It's now April 8th.  He said challenge bananas, then rice and oats last.  If he passes, then we graduate and he hopes he never sees us again.

Why can't I do it?  Why am I so afraid?

I look back and wonder if it was as bad as I remember it.  Was he really that sick?  Did he really turn that pale gray color and lie limp and helpless in my arms?

Jake's grown leaps and bounds.  Well, he's very small (3% in height), but other than size, he has grown leaps and bounds.  My once extremely shy, hide in mommy's shoulder or behind her legs, little guy actually said hi to a stranger yesterday.  He rides his bike EVERYDAY.  He drives his brother and sister crazy.  He throws tantrums.  He makes us laugh until we cry.  He has strong opinions. He hasn't had a bad diaper in months.

Why can't I do it?

Jake turned two in February.  Two.  Time keeps moving forward.   We celebrated with Elmo cupcakes and a ride on the train.  He was thrilled.  I still say "shhh.... the baby's sleeping" when he's napping.  He's not a baby, anymore.

He can TELL me if he doesn't feel well.  

Maybe this week.  Maybe.

I will start with bananas.  He knows he can't have them.  He'll probably tell me no.  He really likes to tell me "NO".  He is two, after all.  I will keep y'all posted.

Patch Test Results - I'm so confused

Jake's FPIES triggers from our experience (which trumps any patch test) are RICE, oats, bananas and corn (in the form ascorbic acid).  Here are the results from his patch test:

Definite reaction - Oats, green beans and QUINOA (wth?)
Slight reaction - wheat, banana, green pea
No reaction - milk, soy, corn, chicken, turkey and RICE (wth?)

So what do I do with this information now?  How did rice not have a reaction? Rice has been his worse FPIES reaction.  This alone makes me not trust any negatives he had.  And quinoa?  I eat a lot of quinoa.  Quinoa looked just as bad as oats on the patch test.  Now that I think about it, I didn't have much last week.  He slept better last week.  Maybe it is all related?  I feel like I need to process all of this.  I feel lost now.  I was hoping this test would reffirm things, but all it has done is left me confused. 

We're supposed to watch the patch spots for the next 5 days, recording any changes.  Call back to the office with our observations.  Continue to feed him foods we know are safe.  We may start trialing those foods that tested negative.  I don't know.  I didn't plan on trying any of those foods until he was a year old. 

I guess this is where I use my Mommy instinct more than medical advice.  I think we'll still continue some fruits and veggies before I do anything big.  I just need to step away and process this new info.  I need to do a little more research.  Maybe millet?  I wish we had a grain.  But the slight reaction with the wheat has me worried.  I'm definitely staying away from quinoa.  I know he reacts to corn.  I'm curious about edamame... it's soybean, but is it a legume?  Is it related at all to a green bean? 

All this testing did was provide me with more questions than answers.  *sigh*

Patch Test Today

Today was the big day.  I took my little lunch cooler full of cooked chicken, turkey, rice, green beans, peas, banana and quinoa to the allergist.  He supplied the milk, soy, oats, corn and wheat.  In two days we'll hopefully see some results.  Jake was a trooper.  Clapping and smiling in the waiting room.  Being as still as a nine month old can be in the exam room where he got the patches applied.  Now we wait.  He doesn't seem too bothered by them yet.  I'm not sure what exactly to expect.  Based on my diet I think milk, wheat, quinoa, chicken and turkey will be OK.  That pretty much sums up my diet these days.  I'm expecting reactions from peas and beans, due to some tummy pain a few weeks ago.   Definite reactions from rice, oats, corn and bananas. 

But then I wonder.  What if they come back OK?  What if it doesn't work?  I KNOW he had reactions to these four.  Rice and oats were the worse.  I'm counting down the hours until Wednesday morning.

Here's the proof with the patch...

In other news, I think mangos are going to be a pass for us!  No reactions at all.  We did freeze dried mangos for 5 days.  I stopped trialing for the patch test.  I would like to give him some fresh mangos.  Maybe this weekend.  Then I'll call it a definite pass.